Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Buddhist experience from the fieldwork


Now I am in Ayudhaya, where I have stayed for a month for my foeldwork. I will head to Nakornratchaseema tomorrow morning. During these days, I have learned a lot from local people, local government, etc and I have really appreciated all their kindness and support given to me. I really don't know how to pay them back. I just hope that after my study, I could do something for the country and for some students as it will be worth all support I receive during these days.

There is one feeling I have always noticed in my mind - it is a sort of 'Mana' or the feeling that I am better than other people. There are two main causes of this feeling, apart from a nature of human being in me. On the one hand, I have made quite some effort to get my study done and fortunately, I have been sort of successful. I am very pround of myself sometime and tend to become more confident in myself than before. I could understand some people who are successful and become over confident and even arrogant. It is from all bloody hard work that you have pass through and you start to get some fruit from it. On the other hand, I have been praised (or complemented) that I am so smart, intelligent, brave, competency, etc. Normally I tend to think that what I am doing is very common, but when there are more and more people saying that I have done something so special, I have become pround of it. I see this feeling arising several times.

For me, the advantage of being confident and pround of yourself is you believe that you are able to succeed something. This belief is really important when you want to achieve. However, the main disadvantage of being too confident with high 'Mana' is, as we all know, a high confesent person is likely to think that they are better than other people and to down on them. My exeprience tells me that everyone has their own ways and conditions of living things and of doing or not doing something. These life conditions are uncomparable and it is discussing to try to make it comparable. We just do our best for what we have and who we are.

I will try to be mindful of the 'mana' feeling a lot more. I dont want to be a sort of discussing person who always think that I am better than other people.