Friday, March 26, 2010

Coming attraction - Research Design Seminar


During these days, I am preparing for my research design seminar on 30th March. The feeling for this coming this is quite strange, but understandable, I think.

I am happy that it happens, then I will know the result whether I pass or fail. Then I will know what I need to do next. If I pass, I will go back home for the fieldwork. This is very good for me because it means that the other step of my PhD life is coming. I will also see my family whom I haven't met for more than a year. But at the same time, I start to feel sad that I have to stay away from Robert. We have been together quite a lot during the past 6 months - almost 24 hours a day. The sweetness of love is not there, but the strength of love is getting higher. I feel uncomfortable every time I think about this. Anyway, life must go on and I hope that everything between us goes well. But if I pass with conditions, which means I need to stay longer, the feeling will be opposite from above.

I am also worried about the coming seminar. I thought that it should be ok. But life is very uncertain. I am getting more worried cos my friend thinks that I should present it in a different way. I will see what she gonna suggest and make it different.......

Best wishes for myself

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Thai temple in the Netherlands


Today I got a chance to make offering to a monk at a Thai temple here. Netherlands has 2 Thai temples: Wat Buddharama at Waalwijk and Wat Buddhavihara at Amsterdams. I go to the one located in Waalwijk with a reason that it's more quite and bigger. Its the second time I goes there, but the third time to go to Thai temples here. I should have been to the temple more often, but I am too busy and also I am a bit less interested in making an offering. I am more concerned for mindfulness, observing precepts and meditation which I can do at home.

Overall there are not many differences between Thai temples in Thailand and here. Temples here just have (a lot) less monks, more lay people, look more like a house than a temple. For me, the obvious difference is I offer food that I cook to monks for temples here. I have never done this in Thailand. The main reason is food here is a lot more expensive....And I feel like I can do something by myself.

I am very happy to go to the temple today. The reason is that my family goes to the cemetery of my father for the Chinese tradition to memorize the death person. I am not there, but at least I can do something good and radiate merit to him (and other beings). The other nice thing is I got a chance to make offering with Robert (again). Its very important for me to do this with the person I love. I always believe that we have been together and did something good together before so that we meet each other again in this life.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

16 months in the Netherlands


I haven't written my blog for a long time as I have been very busy especially the last 6-7 months. I am still in the Netherlands - almost finish the first step of my PhD journey. On this 30th March, I will have a research design seminar where committees will decide whether my proposal is good enough for the fieldwork at home.

16 months in this cold country has learned me many things - academic skill, different culture, different way of thinking etc. I like most things I have experienced here, except the weather which is too cold for me. People here are very criticizing (esp. my supervisors and my boyfriend) so that I have to learn to be more criticizing as well. The other thing I like about this country is there is less hierarchy, but more distance between people. People do not look at you from only 'external; thing such as beauty, wealth or even education. But they are more concerned about your 'content' and 'quality' - your thoughts and personality. I love this cos I can safe time spent on making myself 'look' good, but more time on improving my thoughts and personality.

I have a lot to talk, but I dont have much time for this. I might come back the future.