Saturday, February 23, 2008

Something about love and compassion

Today I and my sister went to the District Office tomake a new Identification Card. While we were waiting, my sister took a magazine to read and I was a free rider - I read with her.

An article I read is about the DJ (Puwanart Kunapalin) who has a crazy fanclub. He talked about one of his fanclub who seems to have mebtal problem. She follows him most of the time and that DJ shows obviously that he didnt like her. After having gone for a while, she came back but she didnt want to face him. She hided herself behind a pillar. A friend of that DJ (her name is DJ Napaporn) told him that 'why dont you smile to her a bit, it costs you nothing. But that might be abke to make other people happy for the whole week' (still impermanent in my opinion). That DJ then went to talk with his crazy fanclub. You know? She cried and felt very happy.

The DJ said that love is what everyone can feel, no matter who they are or which conditions they have: some might be mad, some are normal, some are disabled. All of them can feel love and compassion. I tend to believe this though I never prove this by myself.

This story is quite good for me in this time. Actually I am now a bit unhappy about stg. I have been waiting for a call from my friend since Monday (today is Saturday). I thought that he might have a problem about stg and he might need to be alone. (I am not quite sure as I have not got a physic power to read his mind yet). I want to call him but I am afraid that he wont answer my phone and I will feel even worse. I sent him some messages, but rarely get a response from him. Then worry and concern have changed their forms to be anger especially if they never get any response in return. I start to get upset and cant work well since yesterday. I notice that my heart is heavy as there is a big marble in it. Anger is a real suffering.

However, after reading a story about the DJ and his fanclub, I thought of my friend. I cant explain the process of mind working. But I feel like my love and compassion for him is increasing, but with less expectation. The DJ said that everyone can feel love that can cheer up and refresh their heart. I am not sure about that, but what i can tell is a care giver feel good too. When this idea comes up in my mind, I notice that my mind is getting calm and cool as there is some rain in desert. Unhappiness and anger have gradually gone. I am now happy as always.

I really wish you all the best for your life journey. I also wish that your doubts about practices, masters, monkhood and everything will be answered.

With Metta

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Happy MakaBuja Day

Today is a public holiday- it is MakaBuja Day. It was the day the Buddha gave Dhamma talk to 1,250 Arahants who gathered together without any appointment. (Dont ask me that how can they do that - I dont know).

The conclusion of the talk is 'To do good deeds, refrain from doing bad deeds and purify the mind'.

I stayed at home today to have a rest. I went out to buy stg at a shopping center and then I went to a market to buy some animals to free. Today I got 2 eels, 2 catfish and 2 frogs. It's a bit amazing to free frog. I dont like it (it looks discussing). I am afraid that they gonna jump on me. But they were too tired to do so. One of them got a big wound on its mouth. The other one also got a little wound too. There was some blood on their mouth. I hope they will survive from being caught by people around the canal.

By the way, the good thing I can notice when I walk in the shop is I am more mindful when I am walking. I can see the rising and falling of my thoughts/feelings/emotions a bit more clearly. This means I can apply walking meditation in my daily life- which is good. This also means practicing walking meditation everynight is very effective as I can use it almost everytime I am walking. I am happy about this (then be aware of the happiness arising).

Happy Makapuja Day.
May you all be happy and peaceful on this day and everyday.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

hi..Happy Valentine's day for everyone. May love and compassion be always in your heart.

It's not a Buddhist day actually. But I like to mention about it a bot.

Love in Buddhist meaning means much wider than love in our understanding. We always use Metta for love and Karuna for compassion. The scope of love and compassion are much more than we realize. It's common that we love our family, friends, partners, pets etc. But how about the stranger? How about other ugly animals? How about out enemy? How about someone who has different opinion from us? How about someone who ever hurt us badly? Metta and Karuna are also for these beings, no matter who/what they are. If you can love them without any hesitation/hatred, that is a real love.

Personally, today is very very common for me. I still have to work till 6-7 pm. Nothing is very special - some special will come very soon I think. Anyway, I did a good deed this morning. i bought 4 snakeheadfish and 2 turtles from a market and freed them at a canal near my house. For turtrles, it seems they are for a person who wants to free animal. But for snakehead fish, I am sure that I have safed their lives. If I dint buy them, they would be reborn sooner or later. I feel good today...

Happy Valentine's Day ka....

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Graduation ceremony

It's not me. It's my colleagues' graduation ceremony. Two of them graduate master degree from Ramkamhaeng University in this year. Congratulations for Unoil and Toy!

For me, I already forget how did I feel on those days-excited, happy, tired. It seems all those feeling are like wind. It came and went very quickly like wind in a winter. Ven.Promote said that most people like to contemplate Dukhavedana (unhappy feeling), but actually Sukhavedana (happy feeling) stays even shorter - if you can notice. I agree with him.

This time I realize that though a worldly degree is important for lay people as it is to open a chance for us to work and earn to live our lives. But the most significant one is not that. Seeking for the truth of life and educating ourselves along the noble path are what we really need to do all the time, no matter what degree you have or who you are.

Anyway, congratulations for their success. Hope both of you get something back in return after having made a lot of effot for your studies.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

My first night walking meditation

Last night I decided to do the walking meditation - after having intended to do it a long time ago. Personally I dont like to do this kind of meditation (it seems most people are the same) - in the past I found that I wasnt very calm by doing it. At the present moment, there is one more reason - my right shoulder tendon has been painful for a year. The more i do walking meditation (which means I have to put my hands in front of/behind my body), the more it hurts. Normally I am not very patient with any kind of pain arising. (I cant do Vedananupasana Satipathana).

However, after going to see Ven.Montree on my birthday, I change my mind. Venerable said that if we do sitting meditation and feel sleepy and drowsy all the time, it is the wrong meditation (Michasamadhi) as there are no mindfulness and wisdom there - I agree with him. Moreover, Ven. [....]ah, the Canadian monk told me that we can contemplate four elements from walking meditation. I have heard this along time ago, but never pay attention to it as I can see only lifting and touching my feet on the floor. But this time I am more interested to see it.

Therefore, last night I did walking meditation for 15 minutes - then my shoulder was getting painful and I became very sleepy. So I stopped. However, I have found that, for me, first, it's better to do walking meditation at the night time as if I sit, I will fall asleep very soon because I am so tired from working. Second, I could see the thought rising and disappearing more often than sitting meditation. When I sit, sometime my mind follows the thought and becomes the thought itself - which is a kind of Moha or delusion. I think I was more mindful and awakened this time. I feel like this is a good signal, though I still cant contemplate the foyr elements as Ven'[...]ah said. Anyway,I will practice more and more to see how it's like.

Btw, I have found that when we look at thing separatedly, it will look different from when we see it as a whole. For example, if we see a whole face, the image will be much different from seeing only the eyes on that's probably more funny...hihihi This shows the truth of Anatta - non-self.

Friday, February 08, 2008

My birthday gift

Yesterday - I, my sister and her lecturer went to offer my birthday gifts (sleeping mattresses, meditation cusion, pillows and keylocks) to the Canadian monk (Ven.Noah Yuttadhammo) who has ordained in Thailand for 6 years The stuffs will be used at the meditation place in Chiangmai. (I already told the website in my last blog.)
Piti and wholesome deeds are vedana or mental happiness that we need to be mindful of- if it arises. But to feel it sometime is good and it encourages me to do good deeds. It reminds me that happiness can arise from within, not at the theater, pub, shopping center (I like to go there sometime).
Thanks a lot for Venrable Noah that has given me a chance to make this merit.
Updates : Thanks again Venerable for your Dhamma teachings. It's quite useful for me. Hope you have a peaceful time in the US ka....

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Happy Birthday to me

Today is my birthday. I am 31 years old in this year. I try to feel good about my increasing age, but actually it's not really like that. I have found more wrinkles on my face, more grey hair on my head and and less energy when I am tired.

It is a quiet birthday actually. There are only a few people sending a message and giving me a call to say happy birthday. But it's ok as all those people are my lovely/lovable/loved people. Thanks a lot for that. AT least I know that on my lonely birethday, I have all of you.

Today I went to see the monk at Prajoubkirikhand. His name is Ven.Pra Montree Apassaro. He is a senior disciple of Ven.Loung Poo Dool Atulo, the disciple of Ven. Mun Bhurdatta. The particular technique of Loung Poo Dool is to simply see the mind that is working, thinking, feeling and considering. Then we will understand the three characteristics of the mind that it is impermanent (the feeling changes all the time), it is suffering (it is not stable) and it is non-self (no one can control it). I wouldn't talk in detail about this teachnique today as I want to talk about my birthday.

Ven.Montree is very great. I can feel his Metta from his eyes and from the ways he answered questions. He has sat for a long time to talk with people coming to visit him. I asked a few questions I was confused such as emptiness in meditation, the right mental object I should use.
He also blessed me to practice well and get enlightened in this life - Sadhu! ka. I will try hard for that.

Other good thing about my birthday is I got a chance to ask my colleaques to make a merit. Normally we will buy a gift to each other. This year they asked me what I want. I told them that personally nothing is needed. I have enough for myself. SO I told them that I want some money to donate to the temple in Chiangmai - They need sleeping sheets, meditation sheets, pillows and key lockers. And I got some money from them, including my sister and her friend. I already bought some stuffs yesterday. I really feel good about this. I told my sister that all the stuffs are my birthday gifts - but they are for the temple. This is like double bonus. I got a chance to make a merit and this chance is given to other people. The temple also got necessary stuffs.

Overall, I am quite happy on my birthday. There is only something that made me feel bad. But I won't mention here.

Happy Birthday to me.......