Relationship

My experience is that any kind of relationship is not so easy since there is more than one person in that. There are a lot of emotions and feelings involved esp. if it's with a closer person.

I always think (again) and hope that I will try my best with any kind of relationship.....friend, family, love, colleagues. I think I love them and wanna be good with them esp my family, my close friend and my love. However, there are some limitations for that esp. my time and my personality.

I have found that the older I am, the more time I need for myself to do what I like such as going to the temple, staying at home and have a rest and talking with the persons I love. When it's like that, time is less for other things esp friends. Now I dont have many friends as before. There are only a few people I have contacted with. And actually I dont contact them very often. I like to meet them sometime....but I still prefer to be with myself, my practice, my love and my family.

I think if it's always like this, I will be a 'nobody' person very soon. I just hope that I can deal with that if it's really happen.

Thought

Hello...long time no written. My only excuse is I have been busy. But today I got nothing to do in the evening. I have to wait for my sister. It's a good chance to update my information.

Very soon (hopefully), I will go to study Ph.d. in Development Studies at Institute of Social Studies, The Netherlands. I am now just waiting for the approval of the Visa from the Immigration Office of the Netherlands. It has taken a long time and I still got no idea when it will come. I just hope that I will get it soon.

I have found that study is my favorite job. I always do a lot of things at the same time....study, work, do some Buddhist work for the temple, teach etc. Some work is good in term of money ( ie teaching). Some gives me the opportunity to do stg for others (translate Buddhist work). But study open my world and my mind. I feel like my brain is excercising when I am readinga and thinking.

In Buddhism, study gives you the second level of wisdom (Jintamaya Panya) which is the wisdom from thinking and analysing, but not by heart. This kind of wisdom is very useful for the worldly activities. But I am not sure if it's the best for the religious world. Thought is very impermanant. You can notice that your thoughts might change when you are older or when you have new info or when the situation changes. Conflict and arguments arise when people dont realize this point and regard their thoughts as their own 'self' and always feel that it's right.

Anyway, I will never change my mind not to go to study. Thoughts are good as I like thinking. But we have to be mindful of the thoughts if it's getting too much to be restlessness.

I will update my news through this blog (as often as I can). I really hope that you can always be more mindful in everday life.