Thursday, May 29, 2008


Many times that life goes on the way we dont like. That is acceptable.

But if something we dont like has happened continuously in one night. That is still acceptable, but hard to stand. Sometime i think that it must mean to happen - to practice my mindfulness.

Last night there was something that made me feel unhappy. I almost cried out. But when I tried to call the other person with some hope that I might feel better. There was no one answer the phone. At that time I felt as I am a 'nobody girl'. Then I can see that there are two unhappinesses at the same time. The mind jumped back and forth between those two things.

At that time, I tried to read my book. But i couldnt concentrate. So I decided to do the walking meditation instead. It was funny that the mind changed it perception all the time - two problems and the body movement. At first, the mind was with unhappiness most of the time. But for a while, it changed to perceive the walking more often.....The mind was light and free when it was with the present moment.

Suffering and unhappiness are very unexpected. They can come anytime. We can never stop them. But they will go as soon as your mind is with the present moment.

I cant fully do it as I am not enlightened yet. These is still a lot of attachment in my mind. But at least, I have been trying.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Happy Sunday

Today is the first Sunday in the last 4 months that I dont have to teach and go out to other provinces. This is a real holiday, though I still got some work to do esp. my Ph.d.proposal, marking the tests and doing some work for the temple-Wat Marpchan.

I have learned that 'time' and 'freedom' to do what we enjoy are more important than money. I have happily rejected 3 works (teaching and translating work) already because I have been so tired continuously during the last 4 months. There is some regret for money I will get from all those works. But there would be more regret if I got no time to do my own works.

I havent started any work today because i am still lazy and I like to enjoy my free time a bit. I will do the readings this afternoon.

Another happiness is from someone.........whom I have thought of a lot during last month. I still dont know what to do next. But what I can tell myself is - no matter what kind the relationship is and no matter what will happen in the future, as long as there are love, compassion and best wishes we always have/give to each other, we can always have each other and our friendship (at least) can last forever.....I think (and hope).

Hope you have a good weekend

Thursday, May 22, 2008

My sister

Normally i dont talk very much about my family, though most of them are quite religious and have been greatly influenced on my Buddhist attitude. But this occasion is too good to miss as my second sister (B) got a chance to take an oath of allegiance in front of the King at his palace in the afternoon of 15th May 2008. This event is the sign that she is a real judge, not a judge trainee anymore. She has fully responsibility to judge a case. In the morning, she and her colleagues took a photo together - and i am her personal photographer. My mom also came to take a photo.

I always think that success in work, study etc is the worldly thing. It comes and goes. This occasion happened and finished in the evening like everything in the world that can never last forever. But somehow success indicates some interesting Buddhist ideas:


All living beings are owners of their actions, are heirs to their actions, born of their actions, related through their actions, and live dependent on their actions.

Source :

My sister's success today is from the effort she has made during the last 10 years since she has started her life in the Faculty of Law, Dhammasart University. She is the owner and the person who gets the fruit of her good Kamma.

Congratulations with B, my sister

Monday, May 19, 2008

Wat Marp Chan

I just came back from Wat Marp Chan. It was great esp the abbot and the place. I have learned stg that will benefit my meditation. I told the abbot that I am now learning to 'watch the mind'. But he can tell that I cant do that well cos my concentration is not strong enough. He also said that I study too much and got too much doubt. I rejected that a bit actually. But I tried to do more 'Samatha meditation' as he has suggested and it helped me a lot to watch my mind clearer. I think I have to meditate a lot more. The destination seems to be far, but i will try my best.
This retreat gave me a great chance to see myself clearly - esp the difference of the mental state between the time I was 'a watcher of my problem' and the time I was 'a problem' of myself. I still feel not good sometime, but not all the time. The mind didnt perceive it everytime. I have learned that 'the more we attach, the more we suffer'. This is the real experience.
You can contact Wat MarpChan by this number. There are some foreigner there. So there is no problem about communication with the abbot. You can ask them- how to go there.
Call 0-3861-7546
Fax 0-3899-6293 ( 09.00-1130. am. ,15.30-18.30 pm)

Friday, May 16, 2008

Happy Visakhabujaday


Happy Visakhabuja Day. It was the day the Buddha was born, enlightened and passed away. If there was no Buddha, there was no one giving us the right knowledge to the noble path.

I will go to the retreat at Wat Mab Chan, Rayong this evening and will come back on 19th May. I am quite ok now, though I always feel not very good at the night time - the time I always talk with my friend. I think of him and I miss our Buddhist conversations a lot. But I dont know where he is.... Anyway, mindfulness helps me to be with the present moment rather than sinking in my thoughts all the time - which is the real illusion.

Wishing all of you all the best for this important day.
May peace, happiness and mindfulness always be with you.


Monday, May 12, 2008

Happiness to share

According to my blog about cyclone in Burma - and any kind of help is badly needed. I have forwarded the email of my Burmese friend to some of my friends. I also told this news to my colleagues and my family.

Until now I already got more than 6 big packs of used clothes, a pack of instant noodle and medicine from my colleagues. My mom and my sister also collect their clothes for me. The pharmacist I met yesterday also donated a box of saltz powder for diarrhea patients. What impresses me a lot is there is the support from my mail-friend: Mike Saltz. I have never met him or even talked with him. We just send an email to each other to talk about life and meditation sometime. Mike has informed his colleagues (and friends-I am not sure) at his school (probably) about this news and he got some donations for Burmese people. I never expect this before.....But I am very impressed. You can visit his blog at

I am very happy that I can help Burmese people who have been in trouble from the disaster. What I, my family and my friends will give might be only a little percentage compared with overall needs. But it's better than nothing. This is also a chance to let me know - how kind and compassionate my friends, my colleagues and my family are. I think I am so lucky to meet/to be with them.

Update: Overall I have collected 14 packs of used clothes, 5 packs of instant noodle, 3 big bottles (1,000 tablets) of Paracetamol, 2 packs of medicine for diarrhea, 2 big boxes (50 packs in each) of saltz pawder, 3 bottle of Betadine (to heal a wound), 2 packs of button, 1 bottle of alcohol and 400 bath. My friend would rent a truck to Mae-sord (the border between Thai and Burma), then he will go to Yangoon. Then his friend who lives at the disaster place will come to pick the stuffs....I am not really sure about his schedule. But I am confident that all donations will arrive there.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Birthday

I would like to say Happy birthday to Ven.Noah Yuttadhammo-his birthdy is on 9th May. But i wasnt in Bkk during that time.

It's not only his birthday actully, but the birthday of the new meditation center that Venerable has been assigned to be the master there. It is located at Wat Tam Bua tong, Mae Tang, Chiangmai. The place will be opened for a meditation practitioner in the next few months. You can visit his website at

As the Buddhist, the goal of our life is to do what are useful (or benefit) for ourselves and other people. To make it clearly, to benefit ourself is to try to cultivate mindfulness and wisdom as much as we can. To benefit other people is to help them to have a better life which can be done by giving something to help them such as money, knowledge, life opportunity and etc.. However, the best giving is to give the Dhamma. Venerable Noah is now doing that and (I believe that) he will be doing this for all his life. I really Anumodana for this..

Best wishes for Venerable and the meditation center.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Burma Cyclone - Need help

Here is the email I got from my Burmese friend about disaster in Burma. If you wanna donate stg, please contact him by the mobile phone number at the bottom of the message. His name is Kumaralangkara. He lives at Wat Mahatat, Bangkok.

I will go to see him on Monday morning. You might contact me if you want me to pick up your stuffs. My mobile phone number is (66) 89-4905275.

Best wishes
Dear all my friends,How are you?I wish you all safety, good health, and peace in life.I believe you all might be feeling sorry these days,reading recent news about Burmese tragedy caused by the devastating storm,that killed estimated 50,000 people andleft some hundred thousands without food and shelter.Needless to say, the Burmese people living abroad are touched even harder by the news about their homeland.Now, the Burmese working in Thailand are collecting donationsfrom their fellow communities in Bangkok, to help the survivors in the storm-affected areas. However, as most of the them can not go to Burma by themselves due to their workloadthey ask the Burmese monks to go on behalf of them and deliver their supports directly into the hands of those refugees.With this regard, I inform you all of my friends thatsome Burmese monks, (hopefully, including me,) are leaving for Burma around coming Monday (May, 12, 2008), carrying those donated.And I also want to inform that you can share any of your contribution, includingclothe (used ones or any), medicine, food (dried noodle like Mama, Yum Yum etc.) and cash as well.which will directly go into the hands of the poor in suffering.We do not expect to cover needs of all victims, with the little supply we can afford, we can hope to save, at least, certain lives that our cloths, food and water could reach, though. Dhamma cures mental defilements of beings.Food and medicine are urgent need for the hungry and the sick.

With Regards,KumaralankaraPh:

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

My photo at the retreat

It's me at the retreat. It is the only one photo I have now (there are a few, but I havent got it). Beside me is my Vietnamese friend - Ven.Phi. He is my classmate. I told him that I like his face as it shows compassion and happiness. I smile everytime I look at him.

I dont look very good in this photo as i didnt make up at all (8 precepts) . I was so dark and my face was a bit bony. But (I think) there were some happiness and calmness instead of beauty. hehehe I like to make myself feel good a bit.

The feeling now is ok....I am dull and sad sometime esp. the time I went to bed. But it is getting bettter. It seems that i am now more mindful of the body movement than before as I do walking meditation everynight instead of sitting meditation. I am too tired and sleepy to sit.

Unhappiness is what the mind perceives and attaches as there is Avicca that the mind and body are belong to us. So we want to make them happy. When we cant be happy as we want, we tend to struggle to look for the happiness. Then unhappiness arises.

Best wishes to you all...

Saturday, May 03, 2008

A watcher

Today I got up so late (10 am). I have found that I need more time to have a rest esp. if you work/think a lot during the working days. I must be getting older.

This moring (which is the best time to watch the mind), I have found that I feel much better. The mind still moved to the problem as it always does since I open my eyes. But this moring, the heavy feeling is much less than everyday. It is the first time I become a watcher of the problem, not a player as before. I am not quite sure how long this will last as the mind is non-self. We can never control it and its responses.

I try to think about the conclusion - what should we do when we have a problem that suffers our mind. First, in case that we can stand it, we should watch our mind - how the mind response/react to a problem. From this we will be able to see that the mind perceives all the external senses based all the time. It works all the time. And actually we are not suffered all the time. Yesterday I wanted to talk with my friend. The feeling is so strong till I can notice, However, just 2 minutes later, I have found that I thought about other thing already. The mind already changed its object.

However, if we cant stand the problem or the mindfulness is not strong enough, it's better to look for something to do to change the mind object. We should do things that can relax the body and mind rather than stress them more. We might watch TV, listen to the radio, exercise or take a walk. The body will then relax and so does the mind. The wise solution (in case we need it) will come out when we are calm.

From my experience, any kind of problem wil not last forever. It will be gone. What lasts longer is our attachment (Upadana) and ignorance (Avicca) so that our sufferings are held.

Actually I still got no idea about the solution of my problem. But this time the problem seems not to be the problem anymore. It was what my mind has perceived and clung on and it now becomes what my mind 'lets go' and sees its as the other thing.

Thanks a lot for all the useful suggestions from everyone around me -my sister and my Dhamma friends. During the bad time, I have found that I am not alone in the world. Thanks!

May peace be with you all...