Thursday, May 13, 2010

My changes


Since I have been back, I have noticed that there are a few changes about me. The first change is I like to stay at home more then the past. Even though it's quite hot at home, but I still prefer to sit in front of the computer, do my study, watch TV (very rare) and clean the house. I think I receive this habit from the way I lived my life in Holland - just study at home and don't go out. The other reason is I am still a bit tired and have less desire ti buy stuffs.

The other interesting change is I tend to have less beliefs in spiritual stuffs. Certainly, I receive this thought from Robert and the way I live my life in Holland. Dutch people rely their lives on the system (working, educating and government system) and effort. If both work well, there is no need to pray and make a wish from any god or spirit. You do your work wisely and make an effort, then it's not too difficult to get things done. It also happens with my study. I just have to work hard to finish my paper. No one plays bigger roles than my effort. However, in Thailand, since welfare system still does not support everyone equally, since the poor is still everywhere and since the promotion relies more on the connection (with biggg people) rather than the real performance, invisible stuffs such as spirit tend to be more significant because it's the only a few hope people have when there is nothing much left for them.

I still make a wish when I go to a temple. Most of my wishes are about having more opportunity to make merit and to do something good together with Robert. i also make a wish for my study. But I still need to work hard for it.

Change is also impermanent. I might change to be the same kind as before or might change to be the other person. We never know. What is more important is to realize all those changes, understand it and make the good use of it.

Best wishes for everyone

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