Saturday, June 14, 2008

I am sick...

I am now sick from a cold. It has started on Thursday. Then it was getting bad. SO I decided to stop working on Friday to have a rest at home.

I notice that it is hard to be mindful when we are sick. The mind is so dull and sleepy. I have tried to do Vedananupassana Satipathana - physical suffering. But to do that well , you have to have strong Samatha meditation until you can see that Vedana (physical and mental suffering) is not you, yourself. It is other thing. But my Samatha meditation is not strong enough. I can watch my mind only a few time and I can see that there is some unhappiness there as I want to get better as soon as possible. I cant work and do things as I have planned. I have to lay down most of the time. However, before going to bed, I still do walking meditation as much as I can. It helps me to be mindful of the body movement esp the main postures such as walk, sleep and sit. I cant say that I am mindful most of the time. But it is better than the past that i was deluded in my thoughts all the time and never be with the present moment.

Ven.Anan Akinjano said that we have to practice meditation a lot. It would help when we are sick. Normal people have unclear and unhappy mind when they are sick. But if we are mindful of it esp the feeling towards the pain such as unhappiness and anger (or be mindful of the physical suffering - if you can), we will never hate any kind of sickness as it is a part of nature. We are more likely to have equnimity towards it. Then the mind will be even more calm and wholesome and mindful as there are no unhappiness and anger there.

Today is a birthday of lovely cute monkey. Hope he has a happy birthday.

Have a good weekend

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