Saturday, February 23, 2008

Something about love and compassion

Today I and my sister went to the District Office tomake a new Identification Card. While we were waiting, my sister took a magazine to read and I was a free rider - I read with her.

An article I read is about the DJ (Puwanart Kunapalin) who has a crazy fanclub. He talked about one of his fanclub who seems to have mebtal problem. She follows him most of the time and that DJ shows obviously that he didnt like her. After having gone for a while, she came back but she didnt want to face him. She hided herself behind a pillar. A friend of that DJ (her name is DJ Napaporn) told him that 'why dont you smile to her a bit, it costs you nothing. But that might be abke to make other people happy for the whole week' (still impermanent in my opinion). That DJ then went to talk with his crazy fanclub. You know? She cried and felt very happy.

The DJ said that love is what everyone can feel, no matter who they are or which conditions they have: some might be mad, some are normal, some are disabled. All of them can feel love and compassion. I tend to believe this though I never prove this by myself.

This story is quite good for me in this time. Actually I am now a bit unhappy about stg. I have been waiting for a call from my friend since Monday (today is Saturday). I thought that he might have a problem about stg and he might need to be alone. (I am not quite sure as I have not got a physic power to read his mind yet). I want to call him but I am afraid that he wont answer my phone and I will feel even worse. I sent him some messages, but rarely get a response from him. Then worry and concern have changed their forms to be anger especially if they never get any response in return. I start to get upset and cant work well since yesterday. I notice that my heart is heavy as there is a big marble in it. Anger is a real suffering.

However, after reading a story about the DJ and his fanclub, I thought of my friend. I cant explain the process of mind working. But I feel like my love and compassion for him is increasing, but with less expectation. The DJ said that everyone can feel love that can cheer up and refresh their heart. I am not sure about that, but what i can tell is a care giver feel good too. When this idea comes up in my mind, I notice that my mind is getting calm and cool as there is some rain in desert. Unhappiness and anger have gradually gone. I am now happy as always.

I really wish you all the best for your life journey. I also wish that your doubts about practices, masters, monkhood and everything will be answered.

With Metta

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