Today I had the IELTS test. It went well (in my opinion). I am happy with it - though there are some parts that I cant do. Thanks a lot for the wishes I receieve from all my friends. That helps me to be more confident and relaxed.
The test today makes me realize the importance of mindfulness and meditation. I was nervous and stressful since last night as there was stg disturbing me. That feeling was gone after a long talk with the friend. However, when I sat in the test room, I can feel obviously that the excitement arose. I decided to change from watching/seeing the mind naturally to controlling the mind instead. I cant let it be as usaual as the stress might affect the test. The result is stress and worries cant disturb me very much. The power of concentration is stronger than all those mental feelings. I think I win for this time.
I know that Samatha is easier than Vipassana. But we need to use/have/practice it sometime. It's very useful in everyday life.
After the test, i relaxed myself by walking around Siam Paragon. It's not a good place for mindfulness as there are a lot of people and noise everywhere. Mindfulness doesnt like this kind of place. But the benefit I got from this window shopping is I can see the rising and falling of my desire to buy or get something. There are some books, cloths, bags and food I wanted to buy. But I cant afford as they are so expensive. For a while, the feeling of 'want' has gone and replaced by new attention. (I now know where the 'mind' is). I couldnt see this very often as there are so many interesting things there. Anyway, I learn that next time, if I wanna buy something, I will wait and see the feeling for a while- to see of I really want it or not. I can then save some money from buying unnescessary stuffs.
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