Feeling

I feel better today (I think). The mind thinks and feels about the problem sometime, but the physical responses such as numb hand or pain inside the body are much less than before. It's good that I have time to calm down myself and think about it.

My friend said that I am suffered because i deny the truth and the nature. What has happened is very common. But the problem is that I dont accept it as the way it is. Ajahn Brahm said that we are suffered when we assume about the world without thinking of its reality. We just look at the side we want it to be, but not its facts. If we see/acccept as the way it is, life will be more peaceful and happy as there is less struggling to change the world. I agree with him.

Anyway, I still dont know what to do next. What I want seems to be differnt from what it should be. I remember one talks of Ven.Jayasaro that sometime we have to be suffered from doing the right thing cos it's not what we want. I totally agree with him, though i cant completely do it.

Feelings and emotions come and go. Mindfulness will allow your mind to see their impermanence, non-self and suffering more clearly.

Sorry....this post is very confusing. I just need to talk. It makes me feel a bit better from thinking of someone and something.