Saturday, May 03, 2008

A watcher

Today I got up so late (10 am). I have found that I need more time to have a rest esp. if you work/think a lot during the working days. I must be getting older.

This moring (which is the best time to watch the mind), I have found that I feel much better. The mind still moved to the problem as it always does since I open my eyes. But this moring, the heavy feeling is much less than everyday. It is the first time I become a watcher of the problem, not a player as before. I am not quite sure how long this will last as the mind is non-self. We can never control it and its responses.

I try to think about the conclusion - what should we do when we have a problem that suffers our mind. First, in case that we can stand it, we should watch our mind - how the mind response/react to a problem. From this we will be able to see that the mind perceives all the external senses based all the time. It works all the time. And actually we are not suffered all the time. Yesterday I wanted to talk with my friend. The feeling is so strong till I can notice, However, just 2 minutes later, I have found that I thought about other thing already. The mind already changed its object.

However, if we cant stand the problem or the mindfulness is not strong enough, it's better to look for something to do to change the mind object. We should do things that can relax the body and mind rather than stress them more. We might watch TV, listen to the radio, exercise or take a walk. The body will then relax and so does the mind. The wise solution (in case we need it) will come out when we are calm.

From my experience, any kind of problem wil not last forever. It will be gone. What lasts longer is our attachment (Upadana) and ignorance (Avicca) so that our sufferings are held.

Actually I still got no idea about the solution of my problem. But this time the problem seems not to be the problem anymore. It was what my mind has perceived and clung on and it now becomes what my mind 'lets go' and sees its as the other thing.

Thanks a lot for all the useful suggestions from everyone around me -my sister and my Dhamma friends. During the bad time, I have found that I am not alone in the world. Thanks!

May peace be with you all...

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