Saturday, July 07, 2007

My dog and blood donation

You might wonder how these two things relate with each other? I never think until it happened with me yesterday (friday 6 July).
There was a red cross mobile came to my office to get blood donation from students and officers - there are a lot of people here and they can get a lot of donation. I also went to donate my blood and I was so happy that I could do it. Because normally my hemoglobin is a bit low and i wasn't allowed to donate blood. But this time my hemoglobin reached the mininmum requirement. It was a bit painful as a nurse injected needle to your arm and let blood come out. Anyway this is not a point I wanna talk about.
AFter donating blood, I was with my colleague and had a rest. I was in a very good mood because I just did a good thing that can safe other people's life. For a while, my mom rang me and told me that my dog, that has been with me for 7 years just died. At that time, you know? I WAS SHOCKED. I was quiet for a sec and asked my mom what happened. I know that it was sick for a week but I never think that it would die very quick like this. After talking with my mom for a few minutes, I started crying - I felt sorry for my dog. I am not a dog lover. But this year I had more chance to feed it cos my mom wasn't at home sometime. It is like there is some source of bond between us. This can happen with anyone/anything that have been with each other for only a few weeks. While i was crying, a nurse around that area saw me - he gave me some bandage to dry my tear cos there is no tissue. You know? I laughed out- I thought it was funny to give someone a bandage to dry their tear.
When I laughed out again, I realized the very impermanence of my emotion that changed very quickly. I felt good/bad/funny within 10-15 minutes. Vedana happened and my citta responsed to all of them very quick without mindfulness. I was awared of all these things at some stage but I couldn't stop my physical reaction. This really shows that I was not mindful enough and I need to practice more sati (mindfulness).
My point/ or what i wanna write here is it will be very useful if you practice meditation and have more sati. Sati will help you see and notice what happen in your thought/mind. Then your physical and mind reaction will never follow your kilesa/craving/feeling (vedana)/Sangkara (perception)/sanna (memory). Sati will see obviously what happen in your mind - like a security guard sees if there is anyone gets into your place. Then this guard will tell you what to do and how to response to that situation. This time my gurad might take a nap and let both sadness and happiness affected me too much. I will be more careful next time.
Thanks for 'Samorn' - my lovely dog that is still useful for me even the last minute of its life. I hope you will be reborn in a better life esp. become a human. Then you will have more chance to make a merit as we do. I love you.

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