Feeling

I feel better today (I think). The mind thinks and feels about the problem sometime, but the physical responses such as numb hand or pain inside the body are much less than before. It's good that I have time to calm down myself and think about it.

My friend said that I am suffered because i deny the truth and the nature. What has happened is very common. But the problem is that I dont accept it as the way it is. Ajahn Brahm said that we are suffered when we assume about the world without thinking of its reality. We just look at the side we want it to be, but not its facts. If we see/acccept as the way it is, life will be more peaceful and happy as there is less struggling to change the world. I agree with him.

Anyway, I still dont know what to do next. What I want seems to be differnt from what it should be. I remember one talks of Ven.Jayasaro that sometime we have to be suffered from doing the right thing cos it's not what we want. I totally agree with him, though i cant completely do it.

Feelings and emotions come and go. Mindfulness will allow your mind to see their impermanence, non-self and suffering more clearly.

Sorry....this post is very confusing. I just need to talk. It makes me feel a bit better from thinking of someone and something.

Where is the location of Citta (mind)?

I will talk about mind, not love. There is no love during this day....

I feel thankful for the problem as it is a great chance to practice mindfulness. It is like a student graduating from the university. He never knows the real world unless he faces it by himself. My situation makes me understand more about the mindfulness and the nature of mind (Citta) as well.

The book 'Tang-ek' 'ทางเอก' or 'the main path' of Ven.Pramote pamotecho says that Citta or the mind got no location. The mind here is not our heart (or our love), but it is the perception through our eyes, ears, skin, tongue, nose and mind. The mind will arise when we perceive something and finish when we change to perceive another thing. For example, when we are walking, seeing and thinking simultaneously, the mind can perceive at leg, eyes and brain- in separating moment (sorry I dont how to explain). I mean if the mind perceives that the legs are walking, it will not perceive what we see and hear. Or if the mind perceives that we are seeing, it will not perceive that we are walking and thinking. This shows that the mind got no location. It is arising and passing away all the time when it perceives and finish perceiving at each internal sense-bases. It happens very fast. This also indicates that the mind is non-self (Anatta) as we cant control it to exist or nor exist.

I can see this yesterday. Most of the time I was sad. But when i have to teach, I have to concentrate on the class. I can see that the mind is moving its perception all the time between the sadness in my mind and the class. When I was thinking and speaking, the mind perceived at my brain and my mouth. Then I needed to listen to my students's answers, just at that moment, my mind jumped back to my feeling and then listened. It happened like this all the time. The perception of the mind was moving all the time. I have found that when I was teaching,listening and walking, I was not that sad. The sadness just arose when the mind perceived it.

This shows that sadness is only Nama or what the mind sees/perceives and then our Avicca starts working. It is the attachment embeded deeply in our mind.

My journey is still far away, but at least I have started and learned how to go. Hope you guy will get a chance to walk on this Noble path like me.

Thanks for the problem ;)
Best wishes

Shock!

Actually i intend to write about my retreat experience. But there was something shocked me - just in the last half an hour. I cant describe what happen as it's too private to be published. I am now trying to see how does my mind and my body response to it. I try not to control the mind as I always do as it hides the truth about the mind.

When I was shocked, my left hand will get numb. It shows me how the body and mind relate to each other. The more I feel, the more the numb is. Also, there will be some pain inside the body. Ajahn Brahm said that when it happens like this, it's better to relax the body first. The mind will then feel better.

My mind is now so heavy. It starts to think of this/that all the time. It tries to think - what should I do, how should I deal with it, what the situation will be in the future......When I notice, it stops, but it then comes back again.

Disappointment and unhappiness seem to happen all the time. There is no way to control the world or even the mind.

If I cant sleep tonight (I am pretty sure that I cant), i will do the walking meditation to see the working of my mind and the mental state. There must be a lot to see tonight.

Best wishes to you all

My coming retreat

I will go to the retreat during 11-19 April. I will leave Bkk tonight and will arrive there in the early morning. The place is at Petchaboon. It is the meditation place for MCU students.

I am very keen to go to this retreat as I haven't been to the long retreat for 4 months. I meditate almost everyday but it seems it's not enough. My mindfulness is now running out of petro, which is meditation. I intend to do a good retreat by keeping noble silence.

Thanks a lot for the wishes from Ven.Noah and my friends. Also thanks a lot for the support of my family and colleagues. My mom completely trusts me and always wishes me luck. (I will ask money from her tonight : )) My sister will probably gives me a lift to the bus stop and some money for transporation cost (hopefully). My colleagues and my boss also allow me to go though there is still a lot of work left. They never understand what I am doing, but at least they never stop me.

I must miss everyone a lot, but I will try to be mindful of my thoughts and feeling.

Happy Songkran Day and best wishes for everyone who is both in Thailand and aboard.

Mindfulness and my test day

Today I had the IELTS test. It went well (in my opinion). I am happy with it - though there are some parts that I cant do. Thanks a lot for the wishes I receieve from all my friends. That helps me to be more confident and relaxed.

The test today makes me realize the importance of mindfulness and meditation. I was nervous and stressful since last night as there was stg disturbing me. That feeling was gone after a long talk with the friend. However, when I sat in the test room, I can feel obviously that the excitement arose. I decided to change from watching/seeing the mind naturally to controlling the mind instead. I cant let it be as usaual as the stress might affect the test. The result is stress and worries cant disturb me very much. The power of concentration is stronger than all those mental feelings. I think I win for this time.

I know that Samatha is easier than Vipassana. But we need to use/have/practice it sometime. It's very useful in everyday life.

After the test, i relaxed myself by walking around Siam Paragon. It's not a good place for mindfulness as there are a lot of people and noise everywhere. Mindfulness doesnt like this kind of place. But the benefit I got from this window shopping is I can see the rising and falling of my desire to buy or get something. There are some books, cloths, bags and food I wanted to buy. But I cant afford as they are so expensive. For a while, the feeling of 'want' has gone and replaced by new attention. (I now know where the 'mind' is). I couldnt see this very often as there are so many interesting things there. Anyway, I learn that next time, if I wanna buy something, I will wait and see the feeling for a while- to see of I really want it or not. I can then save some money from buying unnescessary stuffs.

The disappointment

Today I was disappointed by a news from Australia. I can see the rising of it - then it comes out in the form of tera. :' ( My mindfulness is too weak to stop it. Nevertheless, I am ok right now. It's just a part of the world. We are unhappy when we cant get what we want.

yam-picchaü na labhati tam-pi dukkhaü
not to obtain that which one longs for is suffering

To Venerable Yuttadhammo : Thanks for your reply. I am not in Bangkok when you arrive here. I hope to go to Chiangmai in May (probably 17-19 May - I cant leave my work for too long). But as we know that my life schedule is still under the rule of impermanence, this might be changed as well. Anyway I might give you a call before i go to the retreat on 11 April.

This is funny to send a private message via a public blog.

My schedule

This is to update my schedule.
I will be very busy in the next few weeks - til 20th April (I think). It seems I dont have much time to write the blog quite often. There is always stg I think about or stg interesting about mindfulness - but no time to write. Sorry about this.

I will have the IELTS test for my Ph.D.application on 5th April. It's terrible that I dont have much time to do my study - I was sick for 2-3 days and I also have stg to do all the time. The test will depend mostly on my current English skills and the tests I am now practicing. OH! Thanks a lot for Barrie Brown, my Australian teacher who taught me English 6 years ago. He has lent me the IELTS stuffs. This saves me a lot of money. I really appreciates his help. I intend to pay him a dinner after I know the result - no matter what I get.

I will have a meditation retreat on 11-19 April at Petchaboon. It's a part of my Buddhist studies at MCU (www.mcu.ac.th). I have to have 30 days retreat. but I cant do it in one year. So I have divided it into 3 years (10 days per year). And this is the last 10 days I have to have. However, this year I can go for only 9 days as I have a lot of work to finish at my office. i hope that this retreat would be good as (I think) I understand what/how should I do to develop my mindfulness. Hope it's the right understanding.

After the retreat, I intend to start my thesis for MCU and translate another Buddhist book for Ven.Anan Akinjano. I hope i can finish both works soon. In addition, I might go to visit Ven.Noah at his new meditation center, Chiangmai on May. (Hope he allows me to stay there as i will be there only a few days).

Anyway, this is just a rough plan. I can follow this if I pass the IELTS test - my first priority now.

Hope you have a peaceful mind for most of the time

Trang

On 13-16March 2007, I went to Trang with 200 colleagues. It was a hard trip (in my opinion) as I had to travel back and forth overnight for 10 hours. It was a great chance to consider physical and mental suffering arising during the travelling time.

On 14th Mar, I went to the sea of Trang - I went to 4 islands and did snokling diving. I was a bit disappointed as undersea worldsare not beautiful as the last 9 years. But the view of the sea is still worth seeing- blue sky, green sea and beautiful fish.

On 15th Mar, I didnt go out with other people as I had to catch a bus back to Bangkok at 5.30 pm. So i hired a motorcycle taxi (with a driver) to drive around Trang city. It took 4 hours to go to 4-5 temples, 2 parks, 1 house (of the former P.M. - it's just a house actually!) and 2 Chinese temples. I like this city tour a lot as I got a chance to see this small city, though i was sunburned and tired.

There was not much mindfulness during this time. I still need to improve myself a lot.

My trip

I haven't written a blog for a while as I went to Vietnam on 26 Feb - 2 Mar. I went to Hoion, Danang, Hue and Hanoi. I intend to write about my lost mindfulness. But I am too busy to do so. briefly, Vietnam was good, though not very impressive at some stage. I have found that I did not have mindfulness most of the time due to my exciting, tired and sick feeling. I dont blame anything apart from myself that my mindfulness is not strong enough. It indicates that I should meditate more. When i came back home, I have meditated more and it's a bit better (in my opinion). Anyway, I still need to do a lot of work for this.

Another good news is i have finished my translating work. It's a book about mindfulness and meditation practice. I have spent 3-4 months on this work as I am busy and lazy sometime. I really feel good about this cos it will be useful for foreigner who is interested in Buddhism. I told my sister and my friends that i dont have much money to offer to Buddhism, just time and energy. And I can do it.....ANumodana with me ka.

I will go to Trang (located in the south of Thailand) this evening and come back on Sunday morning. i dont think I can maintain my mindfulness there. But i plan to meditate when my roomate is sleeping. I will listen to the Dhamma talk on my MP3 player when I am on the way to the place. It takes several hours to be there. I think I will get something from the talk during the trip.

Hope everyone is good.

Something about love and compassion

Today I and my sister went to the District Office tomake a new Identification Card. While we were waiting, my sister took a magazine to read and I was a free rider - I read with her.

An article I read is about the DJ (Puwanart Kunapalin) who has a crazy fanclub. He talked about one of his fanclub who seems to have mebtal problem. She follows him most of the time and that DJ shows obviously that he didnt like her. After having gone for a while, she came back but she didnt want to face him. She hided herself behind a pillar. A friend of that DJ (her name is DJ Napaporn) told him that 'why dont you smile to her a bit, it costs you nothing. But that might be abke to make other people happy for the whole week' (still impermanent in my opinion). That DJ then went to talk with his crazy fanclub. You know? She cried and felt very happy.

The DJ said that love is what everyone can feel, no matter who they are or which conditions they have: some might be mad, some are normal, some are disabled. All of them can feel love and compassion. I tend to believe this though I never prove this by myself.

This story is quite good for me in this time. Actually I am now a bit unhappy about stg. I have been waiting for a call from my friend since Monday (today is Saturday). I thought that he might have a problem about stg and he might need to be alone. (I am not quite sure as I have not got a physic power to read his mind yet). I want to call him but I am afraid that he wont answer my phone and I will feel even worse. I sent him some messages, but rarely get a response from him. Then worry and concern have changed their forms to be anger especially if they never get any response in return. I start to get upset and cant work well since yesterday. I notice that my heart is heavy as there is a big marble in it. Anger is a real suffering.

However, after reading a story about the DJ and his fanclub, I thought of my friend. I cant explain the process of mind working. But I feel like my love and compassion for him is increasing, but with less expectation. The DJ said that everyone can feel love that can cheer up and refresh their heart. I am not sure about that, but what i can tell is a care giver feel good too. When this idea comes up in my mind, I notice that my mind is getting calm and cool as there is some rain in desert. Unhappiness and anger have gradually gone. I am now happy as always.

I really wish you all the best for your life journey. I also wish that your doubts about practices, masters, monkhood and everything will be answered.

With Metta

Happy MakaBuja Day

Hello
Today is a public holiday- it is MakaBuja Day. It was the day the Buddha gave Dhamma talk to 1,250 Arahants who gathered together without any appointment. (Dont ask me that how can they do that - I dont know).

The conclusion of the talk is 'To do good deeds, refrain from doing bad deeds and purify the mind'.

I stayed at home today to have a rest. I went out to buy stg at a shopping center and then I went to a market to buy some animals to free. Today I got 2 eels, 2 catfish and 2 frogs. It's a bit amazing to free frog. I dont like it (it looks discussing). I am afraid that they gonna jump on me. But they were too tired to do so. One of them got a big wound on its mouth. The other one also got a little wound too. There was some blood on their mouth. I hope they will survive from being caught by people around the canal.

By the way, the good thing I can notice when I walk in the shop is I am more mindful when I am walking. I can see the rising and falling of my thoughts/feelings/emotions a bit more clearly. This means I can apply walking meditation in my daily life- which is good. This also means practicing walking meditation everynight is very effective as I can use it almost everytime I am walking. I am happy about this (then be aware of the happiness arising).

Happy Makapuja Day.
May you all be happy and peaceful on this day and everyday.

Happy Valentine's Day

hi..Happy Valentine's day for everyone. May love and compassion be always in your heart.

It's not a Buddhist day actually. But I like to mention about it a bot.

Love in Buddhist meaning means much wider than love in our understanding. We always use Metta for love and Karuna for compassion. The scope of love and compassion are much more than we realize. It's common that we love our family, friends, partners, pets etc. But how about the stranger? How about other ugly animals? How about out enemy? How about someone who has different opinion from us? How about someone who ever hurt us badly? Metta and Karuna are also for these beings, no matter who/what they are. If you can love them without any hesitation/hatred, that is a real love.

Personally, today is very very common for me. I still have to work till 6-7 pm. Nothing is very special - some special will come very soon I think. Anyway, I did a good deed this morning. i bought 4 snakeheadfish and 2 turtles from a market and freed them at a canal near my house. For turtrles, it seems they are for a person who wants to free animal. But for snakehead fish, I am sure that I have safed their lives. If I dint buy them, they would be reborn sooner or later. I feel good today...

Happy Valentine's Day ka....

Graduation ceremony

It's not me. It's my colleagues' graduation ceremony. Two of them graduate master degree from Ramkamhaeng University in this year. Congratulations for Unoil and Toy!

For me, I already forget how did I feel on those days-excited, happy, tired. It seems all those feeling are like wind. It came and went very quickly like wind in a winter. Ven.Promote said that most people like to contemplate Dukhavedana (unhappy feeling), but actually Sukhavedana (happy feeling) stays even shorter - if you can notice. I agree with him.

This time I realize that though a worldly degree is important for lay people as it is to open a chance for us to work and earn to live our lives. But the most significant one is not that. Seeking for the truth of life and educating ourselves along the noble path are what we really need to do all the time, no matter what degree you have or who you are.

Anyway, congratulations for their success. Hope both of you get something back in return after having made a lot of effot for your studies.

My first night walking meditation

Last night I decided to do the walking meditation - after having intended to do it a long time ago. Personally I dont like to do this kind of meditation (it seems most people are the same) - in the past I found that I wasnt very calm by doing it. At the present moment, there is one more reason - my right shoulder tendon has been painful for a year. The more i do walking meditation (which means I have to put my hands in front of/behind my body), the more it hurts. Normally I am not very patient with any kind of pain arising. (I cant do Vedananupasana Satipathana).

However, after going to see Ven.Montree on my birthday, I change my mind. Venerable said that if we do sitting meditation and feel sleepy and drowsy all the time, it is the wrong meditation (Michasamadhi) as there are no mindfulness and wisdom there - I agree with him. Moreover, Ven. [....]ah, the Canadian monk told me that we can contemplate four elements from walking meditation. I have heard this along time ago, but never pay attention to it as I can see only lifting and touching my feet on the floor. But this time I am more interested to see it.

Therefore, last night I did walking meditation for 15 minutes - then my shoulder was getting painful and I became very sleepy. So I stopped. However, I have found that, for me, first, it's better to do walking meditation at the night time as if I sit, I will fall asleep very soon because I am so tired from working. Second, I could see the thought rising and disappearing more often than sitting meditation. When I sit, sometime my mind follows the thought and becomes the thought itself - which is a kind of Moha or delusion. I think I was more mindful and awakened this time. I feel like this is a good signal, though I still cant contemplate the foyr elements as Ven'[...]ah said. Anyway,I will practice more and more to see how it's like.

Btw, I have found that when we look at thing separatedly, it will look different from when we see it as a whole. For example, if we see a whole face, the image will be much different from seeing only the eyes on that face....it's probably more funny...hihihi This shows the truth of Anatta - non-self.

My birthday gift

Yesterday - I, my sister and her lecturer went to offer my birthday gifts (sleeping mattresses, meditation cusion, pillows and keylocks) to the Canadian monk (Ven.Noah Yuttadhammo) who has ordained in Thailand for 6 years http://yuttadhammo.sirimangalo.org/. The stuffs will be used at the meditation place in Chiangmai. (I already told the website in my last blog.)

Piti and wholesome deeds are vedana or mental happiness that we need to be mindful of- if it arises. But to feel it sometime is good and it encourages me to do good deeds. It reminds me that happiness can arise from within, not at the theater, pub, shopping center (I like to go there sometime).

Thanks a lot for Venrable Noah that has given me a chance to make this merit.

Updates : Thanks again Venerable for your Dhamma teachings. It's quite useful for me. Hope you have a peaceful time in the US ka....

Happy Birthday to me

Hi
Today is my birthday. I am 31 years old in this year. I try to feel good about my increasing age, but actually it's not really like that. I have found more wrinkles on my face, more grey hair on my head and and less energy when I am tired.

It is a quiet birthday actually. There are only a few people sending a message and giving me a call to say happy birthday. But it's ok as all those people are my lovely/lovable/loved people. Thanks a lot for that. AT least I know that on my lonely birethday, I have all of you.

Today I went to see the monk at Prajoubkirikhand. His name is Ven.Pra Montree Apassaro. He is a senior disciple of Ven.Loung Poo Dool Atulo, the disciple of Ven. Mun Bhurdatta. The particular technique of Loung Poo Dool is to simply see the mind that is working, thinking, feeling and considering. Then we will understand the three characteristics of the mind that it is impermanent (the feeling changes all the time), it is suffering (it is not stable) and it is non-self (no one can control it). I wouldn't talk in detail about this teachnique today as I want to talk about my birthday.

Ven.Montree is very great. I can feel his Metta from his eyes and from the ways he answered questions. He has sat for a long time to talk with people coming to visit him. I asked a few questions I was confused such as emptiness in meditation, the right mental object I should use.
He also blessed me to practice well and get enlightened in this life - Sadhu! ka. I will try hard for that.

Other good thing about my birthday is I got a chance to ask my colleaques to make a merit. Normally we will buy a gift to each other. This year they asked me what I want. I told them that personally nothing is needed. I have enough for myself. SO I told them that I want some money to donate to the temple in Chiangmai - www.sirimangalo.org. They need sleeping sheets, meditation sheets, pillows and key lockers. And I got some money from them, including my sister and her friend. I already bought some stuffs yesterday. I really feel good about this. I told my sister that all the stuffs are my birthday gifts - but they are for the temple. This is like double bonus. I got a chance to make a merit and this chance is given to other people. The temple also got necessary stuffs.

Overall, I am quite happy on my birthday. There is only something that made me feel bad. But I won't mention here.

Happy Birthday to me.......

Freeing fish

Last Monday (28 th Jan) evening, my sister asked me to go to a fresh market to buy some fish and free them. It's the meritorious activity as we safe their lives from being killed.

We got to the market in the evening - and we went directly to a fish shop. There are a lot of fish there. At first, I intended to buy only 2 eels as it's cheap (10B for one eel). But there are so many kinds of fish at the shop ie snakehead fish (my favorite food), eel, catfish and a plenty of pond snail. They were very ready to be killed as a seller put some of them on a tray (without water). If someone wants it, they just tell the seller to kill and take that death fish bank home to cook. Some might buy alive fish and take it to kill at home at the taste is better.

When I was young, I came to this shop with my dad quite often and I didt feel very bad about the fish's death. But it was different in this time. I look at their eyes and I really felt sorry for them - just imagine that you are waiting to be killed. I am not quite sure if fish can sense or feel scarred or not. But finally, instead of buying 2 eels to free, I bought 6 catfish, 2 eels, 2 snakehead fish and a kilo of pond snail. I and my sister went to a river bank and freed all of them. The feeling arising at that time was the happiness to safe their lives. I saw some of them swiming to breathe on water surface happily - imagine again that you are freed to be bank home.

My friend said that the more fish we buy, the more the seller or a fisherman catch them. So we shouldnt buy them. I agree at some stage. However, if I dont buy them, other will buy and fish will be killed. But if I buy some of them and free their lives, that will prolong their lives a bit esp. if they are female fish, I can safe a plent of lives.

I talked with my sister that 'if we let them die, it would be better for them as they will be reborn quicker'. But she argued that are you sure that they will never come back to be animal or even born in the worse place ie in the hell or be a hungry ghost, as at the moment they die, they are very painful and they must be angry and scarred. I agree with her.

The other point is, according to Tipitaka, to make merit with animals will have 100 times less merit than an unmoral man. To make marit with unmoral man will have 100 times less merit than a moral man - it is life this from a moral man, a normal monk with low discoplines, a monk with high disciplines, Sodapana, Sakadakami, Anakami, Arahant and Sanghadana (merit to a monk community). This means if you want to get high merit with certain amount of money, you should pay more for monks rather than general people or even animal. This is a good practice for me - as I know this quite well, I shouldnt free fish like this as it doesnt give me high merit. But it practices me to sacrifice my selfishness and do not think very much about the merit I will get. It happens sometime that we make a merit with greed that we will get this and that in return. This is an unwholesome mind as it's Lobha. But freeing fish and safe animals' lives practice me to give without expecting to get something back - as only a few merit will be acquired.

Though I am not as fish lover, but I am a fish freer...hihihi

Longer happiness can be gained from helping and giving. I still insist in this idea.

My hair style

I just have new hair style. It's more curly and colorful. I will show my photo soon.

I feel a bit funny with myself that I have tried to cultivate myself - I should not attach to the body very much as it is subject to chanhe all the time. I realize and understand that quite well as I see more wrinkles on my face. There is more grey hair and I get tired more easily than before.

But defilements is much enough to take me to the hairdress shop to do something with my hair. Even though hair is only one part of a body, but I look worse or better because of it. So it's better to do something with it as long as it is still on my head.

I got stg to talk, but no time. And when there is time, i already forgot what to say. That's why I dont post very much. My brain time and my free time are not very consistent.

Have a peaceful mind

My new year

It's quite a quiet new yaer for me. I got 4 holidays for this celebration. One and half day was spent on the retreat which was great. One day was for cleaning my house. Half day was to visit my relatives. The last day was for writing my proposal and my translating work.

I feel quite peaceful at home though I didnt go out to have a big celebration anywhere or even to entertain myself as the new year is concidently 'Wan Pra'. So I have to observe eight precepts (I watched a movie a bit at home and I felt not very good after I broke my rules). I also enjoy sending and receiving New Year sms from my friends.

Another thing that made me feel good is I spent 'the count down time' in the shrine room at home. I chanted with my youngest sister. We do like this every year if we dont go out to other place. I always think that the new year is actually the conventional truth - as human need to set it for the convinence of life. But it's still great that we do something good on the first minute of this conventional truth.

I also got a chance to count down with my lovely close friend. He is in Australia where has three and half hours earlier than Thailand. So talking with him did not disturb my chanting time. I got a chance to say 'Happy New Year' to him at midnight time of Australia. We also sang 'Auld Lang Syne' together. It's was quite nice that we got this chance. I told him that I hope we will have another chance to do this in the next new year.

My wish for the coming year, apart from wishing everyone to be peaceful, is I hope that I can cultivate my meditation a lot more. I also want to be more aware of my restless thought arising almost every minute. I have found that mind never stops working even when we are slepping. It comes in a kind of dream. If I can be more mindful of the thought, some kind of sufferings such as loneliness, anxiety will be noticed and withdrawn from my mind more easily.

Another wish that always arises in my mind is I hope to get a chance to contact my 'Loung Nong' again. I want to talk and share my Dhamma experiences with him. i also want to say 'Thank you' to him for many reasons. But it's quite impossible -it's ok anyway. Just let it go : )

Another wish (I am quite greedy) is I hope I can continue the friendship with my new friends I met at Wat Pa - Robert, Khema and Shu shuan. i am very glad to meet them and other people there. We are now walking on the same path, but by different roads as everyone got their own lives- probably old Kamma that will lead us to different ways of lives. I wish that they will be able to fulfill their dreams - which is very similar to me.

Happy New Year to everyone

Old year-New year

The new year is coming now. At the end of every year, I like to review - what I have done in the passing year - good or bad, what/how should I improve and what I like to do in the coming year.

After thinking for a while, it seems that this year (2007) is quite a good year for me. Most things happening are good especially I have done a lot of Buddhist activities both worldly and mental works. On the one hand, I helped the uni (MahachulalongkornRajavidyalaya Uni -www.mcu.ac.th) for the Buddhist conference where I met a nice monk who has taught me a lot of lessons. I helped my meditation master to do a powerpoint file for his class. I have helped another master to translate and edit his meditation books. I also donated some stuffs and money to the needed temples. On the other hand, I have been to a lot of retreats at a few places where I have met a lot of great people there. We still contact each other after leaving the temple. In addition, I know more meditation masters whom I have learned a lot from his CDs and his personal teachings (Ven.Jayasaro, Ven.Promote Pamotecho and Ajahn Narongsak Natneam). I am so pround of everything I have done.

The bad thing (that I always feel bad about it) is I disturbed one of my friends too much til he has gone from my life. But it's ok anyway.

What I have found from this incredible year is every present moment of our life can determine/influence the future considerably. Everyone must say 'oh yeah I know that well'. But for me, it shows that nothing happens without a reason. Everything got their own causes- sometime we know, sometime not. The best we can do is do the best for the present time.

For the coming year, i intend to develop my meditation and mindfulness more than this year. I am still restless sometime as I think too much. I also intend to do some more tranlating Buddhist works for foreigners who are interested in Buddhism. I want to see if i can mix two ways of Theravadin practice and Mahayana Bodistava path or not.

Hope that the new year is great for every being. May they(and I) be free from sufferings.